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Agnostic Testimony 24
My relationship or whatever with God

by: Jasmine Taylor

To open a discussion on this testimony, please use the contact page to provide your comments.

I just read Ben's words again in the discussion to Talk Back 89 for no apparent reason (killing time before a social event) and I'm starting to wonder what he means by "RELATIONSHIP" with God or Jesus. So I'm going to tell y'all what my relationship or whatever with God was, and you can make up your own minds.

When I was a small child up to age 15 or so I had a relationship with Jesus, in that I went to church with my mum every Sunday, went to youth group every Tuesday, went to a Benny Hinn revival-esque event at the Stadium with my mum and friends, practiced that which you all call "tongues".

I got involved in a weekly prayer-group which focused on the casting out of demons - "deliverance" - whilst learning how to pray in tongues and attract the Holy Ghost. My mother had varicose veins and she had me perform the "laying on of hands" whilst praying in tongues in unison with our next-door neighbour. It was intense.

And she reckoned it helped her vascular problems.

I even used to get a feeling, like the "holy spirit" had warned me, or that I was being told to do something. This came in to play even at the schoolyard, and I insisted there were spirits in some places.

I 'remembered' angels coming to visit me, and that there had been sword battles between opposing factions of angels, some God's and some Lucifer's. I talked about them because I was sure I'd seen them. I even believed in imps, who would jolt me awake at night, and whisper my name, and I felt their presence on my bed. My mother did too, apparently, and we talked about it all the time.

My house and fence line were anointed with oil, my stereo and television also anointed. I thought that was weird, but mum did her thing and I just went along with it. She felt safer.

I complained about being taught the "Theory of Evolution" in Chem and Bio class, and I even said that my goal in life was to "prove that Evolution is rubbish and that God created everything" - I said those words to my closest friends in science class, and they were not religious, and no-one shut me up.  Fortunately by sixth form I’d grown out of it, and by seventh form I had no idea what I thought was right.

OK, so I don't really get what YOU mean about a relationship with god - or as you put it, RELATIONSHIP - but this is what I experienced, and my earlier comments still stand - definitely.

So in case anyone was wondering, I was THAT kind of Christian when I was one, and others will attest to that.

I did it all; tongues, the laying on of hands, deliverance, mass religious gatherings, ID. My relationship with Jesus was one in which I was some kind of conduit, working for God's plan, and trying my best. Then I grew up, I asked questions, I did independent research, I learned a thing or two about logic and reason - I realised that a lot of what happened to me had to do with mass hysteria, dreams, and the power of suggestion. Years later, I am agnostic; but apathetically so.

And that's really all I've got left to say on the matter, Ben et al. I promise no more extremely belated replies. I just figured that a large, large number of people really have no idea what my story is, and I think it's actually pretty interesting. It's like that movie Jesus Camp, except I never actually went to a 'camp'.