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Agnostic Testimony 15
Now in a comfortable place

From: K.H.

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Having trekked the world of religion my entire life, I now find myself in a very comfortable place. 

I grew up Catholic and converted to a variety of protestant religions while dating.  I ultimately settled on Presbyterianism once I married one.  It has been a long road full of doubts and questions.  As a hobby, I have studied history and have been very interested in early Christians and their rogue offshoots, the Protestants. 

I guess my most profound observation is the diminishing number of documented (and verifiable) miracles and acts of God.  For some reason, since the advent of technology and science, there hasn't been a single miracle that hasn't been debunked.  I extend the same observation to ghosts, demons, mind readers, and little green men from Mars.

My only conclusion is that we are here and we exist.  We are no different than any other living creature on the face of the earth.  I think that is the real value of religion and faith.  It allows us to rise above the other creatures.  It allows us to be special and better.  We rule the world because the world was “given” to us.  It allows us to enslave other animals for our own use.  We condemn then to a nightmare life of pain, suffering, and death all because they were put here for us.

I think that religion also serves as the basis to help our social customs endure in spite of the fact that they fly in the face of our animal instincts.  The institution of marriage was created and endures within the cloak of religion.  Monogamy is virtually unheard of in nature.  That shouldn't bother most believers because we are not animals and we are “better” than the other creatures of the earth.

Religion and faith seem to be necessary, however.  Karl Mar said, “Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, just as it is the spirit of a spiritless situation. It is the opium of the people.”  I often see the battered and bruised poor of this and other countries and wonder how they do it.  From the poorest of the deep south to the tortured in South America, there is one thing that keeps them in line.  They endure the suffering in this life because of the promise of heaven.  What a cruel and useful joke?!

I have become very comfortable with my agnosticism.  I think it is the height of hubris for the believer to know there is a God.  I also see the same hubris in the disbeliever who knows there isn't.  Extremism on any subject is a recipe for disaster.  I have always said that the truth, the answer, is somewhere in the middle.

Me?  I don't know.  I am not that smart.  So, with no evidence for and it being illogical to use the lack of that evidence to believe against, I find myself Agnostic.  Further, if there is a God, he is extremely apathetic to the point of insignificance.  I can not see His (Her) hand guiding or helping anyone or anything on this earth.

I have found my religion.  I don't know and I don't really care.